faking it

I think the biggest fear I have for myself is that I will lose this fullness of the Spirit out of which authentic ministry flows. People will not at first notice that I am ministering in the flesh. I think I have enough knowledge, experience, and abilities that I would be able to fool people for a considerable amount of time. Even if they noticed, they probably would not mention it. But in terms of effectiveness in teh agenda of the kingdom, I would be castaway, disqualified from the service that meets God's approval. It is a comfort to know that Paul also lived with that fear. He said, 'But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified' (1 Corinthians 9:27).*


This amazingly open and honest quotation is taken from perhaps the greatest book on Christian ministry and leadership this current generation has seen. And since I never read books that systematize leadership, ministry or relationship, then it is the best book on any of these subjects that I have ever read. Working through this book for the second time, this particular quote really stood out in a chilling way. It raises a couple of disturbing questions that we as Christians living in the early 21st century must face head-on.

What a shame that we spend so much time categorizing and labelling our different doctrinal positions regarding the experience of the Holy Spirit while never addressing the need for each believer to act through the power of the Spirit. Notice here that I am not suggesting that we do not seek to understand the Spirit - we should seek so that we might find. I am advocating that after all of our debates, challenges, doctrinal statements, creeds, books and sermons that we actually seek to experience the Holy Spirit as the empowering force which drives all believers onward.

There are, I believe, two unsettling questions to ponder that flow out of Fernando's discussion:

1) Would my life and ministry be unchanged if the Spirit were not a part of it?

2) Would anyone notice?




*Ajith Fernando, Jesus Driven Ministry (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 2002), 36.