I skipped church today. This I haven't done in quite some time, although I have missed church because of travel and emergencies. But today, I intentionally woke up and did not go to church.
You have to understand that this is a big confession for me. Not because I feel that I've done something horribly wrong of which I now must repent. This is indicative of something deeper, indeed greater, than not going to an old brick building filled with semi-comatose people who stand-up, sit-down, fight-fight-fight at all the right moments in a somewhat synchronized unision.
No, my adoration for the church has always been present. I gladly admit that I am one of those wierdos who looks forward to church activities with much anticipation. Now the reality must be faced that the church did not view me in reciprical fashion. At least, the powers that exist in this local church do not regard me this way. The result of such a relationship is that I woke up this past Thursday morning (December 2) without a job and a compromised position with the church. Not for any theological reason, not for disagreements with the church body. For having one person not like me.
One.
I am told that this is a unanimous decision made by the church leadership. If anyone believes that, raise your hand.
I didn't think so.
I wanted to be with my friends and family this morning. I had every intention of being present for the services. However, in the best interest of these individuals, my former fellow-staffers, and the stability of the church itself, I rolled over and drifted back to sleep.
It has never occurred to me that one might best serve the church by making the decision not to be there. Many pastors do not preach this or present it as sound doctrine. But it has become apparent to me that such is the desire of a very real and present hidden agenda held by those whose self-interest outweighs their God-given responsibilities.
OK, so I'll stay home. I think my ego can handle that.
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