Today I was able to conduct a brief, unexhaustive, yet telling survey among average servers at the local Chili's restaurant. Knowing that there is a major after-church lunch rush on Sunday's, my question was simple: In your typical experience with people who are obvious churchgoers, do you find their attitude to be favorable or demeaning? The unanimous reply was a resounding "demeaning" (or "snotty") from each individual with whom I spoke. There was less time for these respondents to come up with an answer than if I had asked their age (Georgia math skills notwithstanding). I even received strange looks as though I had asked, "Tell me, is the sky blue or is that a shade of mocha?" A no-brainer at best.
Perhaps the "good news" can be found in the reply of one of the store managers who said that although this is commonplace behavior (to a small degree) in every Sunday afternoon crowd, in twenty years of restaurant work he has never seen it as bad as it is here in Newnan, Georgia. Well, you had to figure a first-place ranking somewhere in this state.
At the time of my inquiry none of these individuals knew anything about my educational, spiritual, or employment history. This led to all sorts of unsolicited follow-up comments regarding the nature of "church people." For instance, one woman told me that she can't stand religion and that she was put off mostly because of the blatant hypocrosy and stupidity of those people who picket and throw pamphlets in your face. Another told me that he was tired of being looked down upon because people feel that they're going to church coupled with his aparent lack of being in church made them feel superior to him (nevermind that these people have no problem whatsoever supporting his lifestyle by frequenting this place of business on a Sunday). Then there was a woman who said that she believed in God, read her Bible frequently, but had felt run-off by the "church people." I told her not to worry. . .so had I.
And now I feel more able to relate to these servers than I was ever able to relate to the vast majority of people at my last church. Because how quickly one goes from offering public prayers on a Sunday morning (which were obviously too long and too short) to being on the receiving end of a long an pious nose which only leaves the stuck-up position long enough to cast a condemning gaze upon another. You see, this was an easy survey to conduct and understand because I am now one of the servers who felt this sickening stigma being displayed today: people who spend their mornings listening about Jesus and trying to secure their own salvation followed up by a noontime meal flavored with self-righteous judgmentalism.
Yes. . .I am upset about this. Not because I feel bad - for I have been over this shallow puddle of churchianity for some time. Such two-faced action will have to answer for itself someday. Right now my concern is for the people who are being driven away from their God by a bunch of white-collars who can't get over themselves. This is becoming a major dilemma with few in the institutional church who care to take notice.
"Life in the church had become so small. . .It had worked for me for a long time. Then it stopped working."*
It doesn't matter what we do. . .money given, mission trips taken, buildings built, programs instituted, sermons preached, songs sung, choirs rehearsed, potlucks ate, offices recarpeted, prayers rehashed. . .unless we can first learn to care enough for those around us that we are driven to reach out to them as the everlasting arms of Christ and embrace them for everything they are - their successes and failures, gains and losses, beauty and warts, righteousness and sin.
If you love only those who love you, what reward will you get?
Matthew 5:46
*Kristen Bell as quoted in Andy Crouch, "The Emergent Mystique" in Christianity Today (November 2004), 38.
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